in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have so many feelings about this burrito
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize