People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
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After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
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I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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