I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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