We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
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I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
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You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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