He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
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