Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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