it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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