Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize