I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
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I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
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when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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