to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize