I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
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someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
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That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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