It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Fine. I'll sleep in my office
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Randomize