I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize