pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize