JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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