Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
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