my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
You've changed since you got that strap on
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
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