I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I am one with the molecules
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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