And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize