It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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