I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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