The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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