she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize