Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize