I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize