Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
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