Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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