I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
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I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
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I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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