I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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