Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
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I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
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Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
i need some magic done to my vagina
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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