he puts the penis in happiness.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
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