They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man, jail baloney is awful.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
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