dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize