im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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