this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize