You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize