This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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