You just made me feel so damn special
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
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