I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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