i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
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Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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