there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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