im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
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