He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
how does that bad decision feel?
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