Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Randomize