he thought i was a dude.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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