no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Randomize