The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
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She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
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no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
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