meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Girls should come with a carfax report
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Floor bacon is actually really good
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize