I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Randomize