hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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